After a long hike yesterday and reaching the end of the trail I was wondering what I was going to do today.
Yesterday I was pondering endings and beginnings. Today I'm pondering resistance.
Usually after doing a particularly difficult practice I'd take a day off. I chose to think differently today and take the hike again and change my perspective.
As I walked I stepped in new places, stopped along the trail and looked around, took steps uphill/downhill with a different foot and allowed myself to pause when I felt resistance to anything bubble up.
Resistance is what holds me back from being ready to reach a goal, to step into something new, or to go for something big. Paying attention to my resistance today while thinking, "maybe I'll try running the trail," probably saved my legs and knee. I'm not physically ready for that step yet... not to say I won't be... but today isn't the day.
Recognizing my resistance and knowing where it stems from allows me to keep moving forward at a steady pace. Everything I've been through to this point in my life will help me in the future. The choices I make now will bring forth new opportunities.
When resistance hits and I think, I can't do one more day of walking/yoga/Momming, I can practice the pause. Some things (Momming) I'll need to do anyway. Those things I do for myself I need to practice doing anyway because that's how I'll move forward through the resistance. It will be difficult at first... but then it'll get easier. Just like the trail is difficult at first, and I spent 11 years resisting the end, and now it seems easy (at least the first 1.5 miles from the trailhead!).
Not many images today because I was concentrating on the teaching, the lesson of resistance and how it shows up in practice and pondering the effects of resistance in life. But I was still on the trail, moving forward, and working the practice.